Total Pageviews

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Lovesong...dedicated to Keith


There are many human-shaped universes
pressed against each other
like soap bubbles
so tentatively...
with connections built from delicate fibers
of love and blood
and words spoken softly. I let my love whisper gently and not clamor for attention. You bend an ear to catch
and delicately pick up my thread. This is how the connection is built, like a monolith made from sand.
One tiny speck laid patiently on another. Each gesture, touch and word a brick. Each smile and caress, mortar.
The body is illusion, like the sheen on still water, with a spirit brightly juxtaposed.
This is what love is, the siren call of the soul, mine to yours, and yours to God.
and the rest is only muscle memory.
Ephemeral like a soap bubble, it lives for a time and then fades.
And yet the touch of your hand, your laugh, is my hold on this life. I look for you in every hour and desire this connection.
The divine simplicity of your skin on mine and how your voice serenades me with bliss.
This is how I see you, your hands wrapped around a violin, fingers splayed . Your music bursts note by note, clean and wild.
And flows around me in sweet rhythm.
We make our own divinity from moments like this.
Suddenly struck by how perfection is created from damaged pieces,
a beautiful sculpture carved from flawed wood.
I find myself curved into the hollow of your shoulder,
crying like a wild thing.
A heart broken by beauty and healed again and again.
We are circling what we already know, that beyond this moment there is another and another.
A spiral of significant events that forms pure reason.
Is this real? Are we souls in our infancy waiting for veneration?
I do not believe that time is so linear that we grow from young to old.
but rather abiding in a span of seconds and moments standing still.
And this moment, which seems so fleeting, is eternal.
I would find you again, love, and go where you go.
I will be steadfast and bestow my grace for the asking.
So we let this tenderness ripen, and try not to fear the close of our day.
And we build a dwelling of living connections that mirrors our pristine youth.
With the wisdom to grow innately into horizons of their own.
Not made but born, tenuously fragile and resilient.
This is a gift! A becoming for which we were made.
To keep circling from beginning to end until they are one and the same.
And then to start it all over again.
This is what I'm thinking when I place my hand into yours and let my eyes meet your eyes.
And make my promises before the ones that made me.
That I have loved you before I was sinew and bone and that I will love you after I am dust in the corners.
That I will match my step to yours and fill my ears with your music.
And when it fades I will be at peace.
And wait until it swells again.

Monday, August 1, 2011

World breastfeeding week Aug 1-7

I can't write about what nursing my baby has meant to me without getting tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat.  Even after 16 months I still can't believe it works, that his thighs are chunky because my body made them that way. That I could produce this substance that sustains my baby and gives him comfort. I can't describe the waves of love that overtake me when he latches, the sweet way he looks at me, that little humming noises that he makes. His eyes meet mine, then go half-lidded, then open again in pleasure, I can't take my eyes off him. His belly is against mine, his legs curl around my waist, he fits perfectly. His hands stroke my face, rub my arms, and find their way into my hands. His head smells so unbelievably sweet. I love when he falls asleep while nursing and touch his face, this baby is mine!!! How did I get so lucky? While he's playing he comes over for a pit stop and will nurse energetically for just a few moments and then rush back to the game. Sometimes he can't decide which one he wants and will sample both several times before settling. He definitely has a favorite, my right and choose that one more often. He hasn't made a name for them yet and I'm curious about what he will come up with, he is funny little guy so I imagine it will be clever and unique. He still likes to nurse at night and will do so without waking up. Thank goodness for this, I have not experienced sleep deprivation with him. He is possessive of them and will fight his older brother for dominion of my lap and will yet at his father when he gets to close. He likes to talk and smile at them. I would gladly nurse him for years and years and dread the day when he decides he has had enough of him. I have loved every moment spent cradling my little love and heart grows even more  with every day of his life. I think it goes without saying that I have tears running down my face. Thank you God for this precious gift.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

New from the sweatshop!








I have been a busy busy bee! I've finally worked the kinks out of my diaper pattern and turned out some diapers that I'm really happy with! Sam has been a great guinea pig and tested these for me. The fit is great, the AIO's don't leak or wick and the fitted is super soft and provides a very trim fit under a cover. I also wrote an article for Autumn Beck's blog http://allaboutclothdiapers.com/the-thrift-store-cloth-diaper-project/comment-page-1/#comment-22724 in which I sewed a diaper stash for under 30 dollars! It's been a busy couple of months. Here's some pics for everyone's edification! From the top, 1. AIO, corduroy outer, hidden PUL layer, minkee inner 2. AIO.laminated minkee outer, minkee inner 3. fitted cotton woven outer, bamboo velour inner. 4. fleece diaper cover with an embellished bamboo velour prefold. 5. two small soakers, wool and fleece 6. T-shirt fitted with a T-shirt prefold inside. I've got some other stuff cooking but that is another blog post! Namaste!!!